i'm pooped. i was volunteering at a luncheon from 10-3. the food was very good. the cheesecake was ~magical~. *licks lips*. it seems like most people are at the point of deciding which college they are going to. i also hear about schools they've been rejected from. i'm sorry! i didn't get into the burnett honors college at UCF. thank GOD!!! of course if i got in i would be ecstatic because i would be one of "them", but i was so worried about balancing weighted general classes with engineering courses. i feel relieved now and i can kinda relate now to those who feel rejection on their shoulders. i think it musta been my test scores that had them decide not to take me. it's kinda strange because a friend that i know got in gpa wise is lower than me. then again her semester grades this year are better and her test scores are better. i dunno, i don't wanna analyze. all i know is all i hafta worry about now is picking an orientation date! woohoo!

iiiiit's FRRRRRIIIIIIIIIIIDDDDDAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

need i say more?

MISTER CELLOPHANE

If someone stood up in a crowd
And raised his voice up way out loud
And waved his arm and shook his leg
You'd notice him
If someone in the movie show
Yelled "Fire in the second row
This whole place is a powder keg!"
You'd notice him

And even without clucking like a hen
Everyone gets noticed, now and then,
Unless, of course, that personage should be
Invisible, inconsequential me!

Cellophane
Mister Cellophane
Shoulda been my name
Mister Cellophane
'Cause you can look right through me
Walk right by me
And never know I'm there...

I tell ya
Cellophane
Mister Cellophane
Shoulda been my name
Mister Cellophane
'Cause you can look right through me
Walk right by me
And never know I'm there...

Suppose you was a little cat
Residin' in a person's flat
Who fed you fish and scratched your ears?
You'd notice him

Suppose you was a woman, wed
And sleepin' in a double bed
Beside one man, for seven years
You'd notice him

A human being's made of more than air
With all that bulk, you're bound to see him there
Unless that human bein' next to you
Is unimpressive, undistinguished
You know who...

Cellophane
Mister Cellophane
Shoulda been my name
Mister Cellophane
'Cause you can look right through me
Walk right by me
And never know I'm there...
I tell ya
Cellophane
Mister Cellophane
Shoulda been my name
Mister Cellophane
'Cause you can look right through me
Walk right by me
And never know I'm there
Never even know I'm there.

Hope I didn't take up too much of your time.

------

*thunder* *lightning!* it's a freakin monsoon outside rite now. aah lightning. i promised deshawn that i'd read the Yellow Raft (how ironic that would be the perfect thing rite now...) at 6pm so i now have 6minutes. eww i have an ap lit term to turn in. boorrrrriiinnng. hopefully i can find one of the terms i did ahead of time :P. i was looking at Justin's blog (hi justin!) and i saw all these way cool links there! one of them, my old website. lol. u kno when i stopped updating it i thought it was this primitive crappy sun of a gon but now that i revisit it, why did i stop?! i know i detested the web address though. it was soooo long. if anyone wants to see it, this is the link http://members.tripod.com/giddyup_turtle/index.htm . and yes mccormick i'm an nsync fan u'll just have to tolerate! lol. the reason i wrote ur last name is that i know *two* mollys and i don't want stuff to get confused :P. i should come up with a nicname for you...eh maybe later. i thought about updating it again but i actually started a whole other site (with a shorter address) and i definitely do not want to throw that out. i might post the new site soon since i'm tired of keeping it hidden lol. well it's 6pm so i'm out....

lol yes quite amusing

Naked Turtle says:
what's an apagorevyette

Apagorévete says:
oh my

Apagorévete says:
um, no idea sorry

Apagorévete says:
www.dictionary.com?

Naked Turtle says:
lol how about an apagorevete?

Apagorévete says:
the male form of whatever it is?

Naked Turtle says:
u really don't konw?

Apagorévete says:
nope!

Apagorévete says:
do you?

Naked Turtle says:
no..

Apagorévete says:
hm

Apagorévete says:
wheere is thiss comming from?

Naked Turtle says:
what

Apagorévete says:
that word?

patooey says:
its what ur name says

Apagorévete says:
ooh really?

Apagorévete says:
haha

Apagorévete says:
I didnt recognize it

patooey says:
omigoodness

Apagorévete says:
haha

Apagorévete says:
I'm stupid

you know how ur head feels when you learn a completely new concept or try to listen to a really fluent french speaker for the first time? thats how my head feels now. confused. why? two of my friends have a very , shall we say, unique relationship. as of this moment i understand that i don't understand it. and actually, i think that's the best i'll be with it. so i'm content. i think the best way to get to know someone is individually anyway. u 2 are great friends either way hee hee.

ugh i think i ate too much chocolate. and i was mortified by my lunch period today. stacy was telling me about turtles that have diseases on their eyes! and my turtle on my keychain was getting abused. im gonna take it off tonite. its the kind where u squeeze it and the eyes bulge. well of course the friends at the table are the kind that squeeze it to its limit! the eyes were so big, and then they ripped them off. i was just grossed out. plus the turtle goo story from yesterday and turtle soups convos. yuck. i know they're all just kidding but after awhile i just feel disgusted.

i guess i really do care about turtles.

aaaaahhhhh!!!! turtle goo!! vanessa coe was telling me about a brave and courageous effort to save a turtle in the road... sadly it had been run over already but she RISKED HER LIFE to carry it to the pond and let it watch the sunset in peace *sniff sniff*. its shell had been cracked and goo and blood had been dripping from it. that's so sad.... i am glad she let it go in a peaceful place instead of in the middle of the street where it was.

Oscar reflections
CONGRATS to all the winners! i was so happy for Chicago i thought it was a great movie.second of all... what was with all the anti-war advertisements the actors were voicing? personally i think a lot of viewers watch the oscars to get AWAY from hard news and realities. and that documentary winner... what was up with him?! psycho... if you want to be respected amongst your "peers" and you're a ~nobody~ ( i.e. someone who films documentaries) then you accept the award with dignity and oh no you don't just start dissing the leader of your country. in a way it was funny, i personally enjoyed the booing. after in the newsroom or w/e he said "just cuz only 5 people booed doesn't mean everyone felt that way. the majority of the people feel the way i do." well the reason celebrities don't boo is because they have a reputation! they know how to take it in stride. i liked the way actor winner adrien brody put it " let's just pray for swift and peaceful resolution."

Hey guys i saw this posted on someone else's post and it looked real enough. and you might oppose the war, but you CANNOT at any one second blame the brave soldiers who are right in the face of it.

---

If you are so inclined, please visit the Department of Defense web page below and sign a brief message thanking the men and women of the U.S. military services for defending our freedom. The compiled list of names will be sent out to our soldiers at the end of the month. So far, there are only about 6.3 million names. What a shame. There should be hundreds of millions of people saying thank you. Pass the word that we can honor and support the defenders of freedom.
Sign Thank You Card It takes 10 seconds...literally (please pass it on to your email friends)

day 3 of another joyous spring season...and it's raining. my friends are supposed to be back from spain/france by now i think. hopefully they had a comfortable time. my sister is watching Hey Arnold. has anybody ever questioned his kilt? i mean, is he scottish or anything? don't seem like it. well it's better than him wearing a mumu. Oscars are tonite. yay. i'm kinda looking forward to it because i've seen plenty of movies. who's hosting it? i dont even know. does anyone wanna donate money for Relay for Life?? i need to raise $100 and rite now i have.... about....$5. trust me thats pretty good. i'm the team captain but i am one of the worst people to raise money. i'll think of good ideas but don't go thru with it. maybe holly and i will sell some OJ. spanish club had a lot of good ideas too but they never went thru with theirs either. maybe we can do a bake sale... anything! i feel like a beggar lol. this is bad cuz i think last year the team reached their goal of $1000 and i dont think the captains are doing their job. u kno the subcaptains. i'm the HEAD captain. haha w/e. i would have such an easier load if i actually had two people to help raise money with me. most of the captains do but nobody signed up under me :(. i guess i'm not a popular president. j/k. wow one more official french club meeting and fini! but it's gonna be fun. i can't say why exactly until after because we have some secret plans. *evil laughter*. but i'm just babbling. babble babble. i think i should go finish my history homework now. kay i will.

SOMEWHERE I BELONG

When this began
I had nothing to say
And Id get lost in the nothingness inside of me
I was confused
And Id let it all out to find
That im not the only person with these things in mind
Inside of me
When all the vacancy the words revealed
Is the only real thing that Ive got left to feel
Nothing to loose
Just stuck, hollow and alone
And the fault is my own and the fault is my own

I wanna heal
I wanna feel
What I thought was never real
I want to let go of the pain I felt so long
Erase all the pain til its gone
I wanna heal
I wanna feel
Like Im close to something real
I want to find something Ive wanted all along
Somewhere I belong

And Ive got nothing to say
I cant believe I didnt fall right down on my face
I was confused
Looking everwhere only to find
That its not the way I had imagined it all in my mind
So what am I
What do I have but negativity
Cause I cant justify the way everyone is looking at me
Nothing to loose
Nothing to gain, hollow and alone
And the fault is my own and the fault is my own

I wanna heal
I wanna feel
What I thought was never real
I want to let go of the pain I felt so long
Erase all the pain til its gone
I wanna heal
I wanna feel
Like Im close to something real
I want to find something Ive wanted all along
Somewhere I belong

I will never know
Myself until I do this on my own
And I will never feel
Anything else, until my wounds are healed
I will never be anything
Until I break away from me
I will break away
I'll find myself today

I wanna heal
I wanna feel
What I thought was never real
I want to let go of the pain I felt so long
Erase all the pain til its gone
I wanna heal
I wanna feel
Like Im close to something real
I want to find something Ive wanted all along
Somewhere I belong

I wanna heal
I wanna feel
I wanna feel like Im somewhere I belong

I wanna heal
I wanna feel
I wanna feel like Im somewhere I belong

Somewhere I belong

---Linkin Park

questions. questions that cannot be answered. rhetorical. you know what i do when i have online time? i read other peoples blogs, i go on their websites. so don't be surprised or freaked out if you see me make a comment out of the blue. it's not really out of the blue... i've been here all along...

"Friends," said Pooh "are a very comforting sort of thing."

Friends are very complex people. can't live without them? sure i can. but that's not the best choice. sometimes i just want to curl up in a shell and hide. it's not like anyone cares anyway rite? i eat my A lunch by myself and nobody cares. i sit in the front corner of calc class and most of them dont' know my name. why make a difference? i can graduate and hope that college will be better. i can graduate and hope that my career will be better. but i can't do that can i. i guess i have to live for the moment. carpe diem rite. senior year's almost over, and i know a handful of good friends. but i'm not close to them. i usually feel like i'm intruding on their lives. they've had this niche for how many years? i wedge myself in. i had friends at my 2nd school. but i drifted away from them. and my first school, my friends there have had so many changes and adventures that i'm just the screen name on the monitor. whats the point of becoming any closer. college will change things all over again. at least i know what to expect. letters that are never replied to, too many things with too little time. it's distance that really seems to be the factor when it comes to stayin friends.

Just for future notice, I can slip in and out of serious blogs just like *snaps fingers altho can't really do it* that. the serious blogs seem to be the ones that are really on my mind and not just oooo what interesting thing happened today.

=-o
Ooo before i forget, i was at work today (it's a kitchen), and i saw the most disturbing thing at the desk. "Turtle Soups and delicacies". What kinda maniacs am i working with?!?!? it had a picture of a cartoon turtle making a stew. that is NOT the best thing to lay around. i understand they don't really know my "situation" but geezz stab in the heart rite there. i didnt' dare open up the book. that was crrraaazy i never thought i'd see a recipe book in that kitchen with that title. i hope they never try to make it. otherwise, who will go out and protest with me?! lol.

"Addicted"

I heard you're doing okay
But I want you to know
I'm a dick
I'm addicted to you
I can't pretend I don't care
When you don't think about me
Do you think I deserve this?

I tried to make you happy but you left anyway

I'm trying to forget that
I'm addicted to you
BUt I want it and I need it
I'm addicted to you
Now it's over
Can't forget what you said
And I never wanna do this again
Heartbreaker

Since the day I met you
And after all we've been through
I'm still a dick
I'm addicted to you
I think you know that it's true
I'd run a thousand miles to get you
Do you think I deserve this?

I tried to make you happy
I did all that I could
Just to keep you
But you left anyway

How long will I be waiting?
Until the end of time
I don't know why I'm still waiting
I can't make you mine

Heartbreaker
I'm addicted to you
---

Great song. it's addicting.

ahh the first day of spring. new life... rebirth... makes you feel all warm and cuddly inside don't it? finally it stopped raining and the sun's coming out. are those baby turtles dancing in the distance? lol. i'm watching my big fat greek wedding rite now. so funny.

*yawn* now it is 11:23pm.... can't remember anything interesting i was going to talk about. aaaahh big spider! dam nature. i love it, but why's it gotta be IN the house?! oh and i was driving on the way to go bowling and this frog (out of NOWHERE) lands on the windshield and flies off. sure spring is a happy time, but not the best season in florida. eewww then there's love bug season... yuck. i had dinner at this restaurant in apk called Garibaldi's. it's almost just like the Green burrito in duarte (if anyone knows what i'm talking about). their chips and salsa were good! :) but now i'm tired and smell like greasy cigarettes from the bowling alley.
Anotha day closer to the end of spring vacation :(

12:12 pm ooo oo make a wish! ....... okay :) i can't figure out this time set on here. i try to put it on eastern but it's 3hours behind. it's VERY hot. tomorrow's the first day of spring! can u believe it? wow... i might go see a movie today...but which? ugh i have so much homework... mult choice packet, read Yellow Raft, chapter outline, french essay, pres. charts and... i hope that's it.
In the background i can hear my dad listening to the reports of the bombing...the sounds, the effects. Hussein has a double?? possible. if i was him, u know incredibly misguided and SCARED, i would probably have triples of me. new headline " attack may take longer than predicted". well no one has been able to predict the weather perfectly, so how could one possibly predict a war with precision? my take on this is that i respect what Bush is trying to do. he's sposed to take the ~leadership~ role and as long as he's trying to protect the oppressed then so be it. just don't make us look like "peace-loving" idiots bush! we the american public probly don't know as much as he does or as much as the soldiers out there or the veterans here know. Interview one of those people and they fully support. Of course no war is the best way to win but i guess mr. body double doesn't wanna go down that way. and yes he WILL go down one way or another. maybe i should just go kick him. i'm just praying for my friends who are on the spain/france trip rite now that they are having the best time and are safe.

well today's wednesday... march...19th yeah. i had one of those scary dreams... u kno the kind when they kill you... well i have those anyway. i couldn't go back to sleep so i went online at about 8am. early for sum1 on spring break. that dream was almost like one of those "omg it was so real" things. no waking up in sweat and tears tho. i think i was in some kinda nazi camp... with monsters in bathroom stalls... okay so it doesn't sound realistic, but should it?! no. what a boring vacation i'm having. go to sleep,eat, go to work, go home ..... maybe i'll do something more interesting this weekend, even tho i dont have any plans. Oh but Cypress Gardens was quite the thrill (sarcasm). my fam and i went on sat.... ever wonder where all the old people have fun? lol. the gardens were beautiful, the landscape and stuff but my favorite part were the animals! there were alligators, we fed those, and a lemur and pygmy monkeys and snakes and and and lorikeets and butterflies! lots more. there was an indoor garden in a greenhouse and they kept all these butterflies in there. one landed on me! i was flattered haha. and there's a birdhouse that had the lories and lorikeets, we fed those...and guess what? birds all over me there! one landed on my head, two were on my arm trying to eat/drink from the concoction i had in my hand, definitely the kodak moment. we used up a lot of pix in there. a very leisurely day.
Oh hey and i'm improving with figuring out this blog. notice how i changed the links? yeeess. but i tire with trying to add a comment box for now. which reminds me, i finally gave Molly McCormick this link! ;-) *waves*

NOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooo!!!!!!

Curs-ed blogger just erased my whoooollllee frickin entry! and do YOU know how long it was?! |-------------------------------------this much!---------------------|. well something like that. okay well c'est la vie. je pense. alrite hmm let me try to recollect...... i said something on the lines of: HAPPY ST. PATRICK'S DAY! i hope the snakes don't get around you. ain't that the legend? i dont even know.... i got my prom dress on friday! it's really pretty. light light blue with BEAUCOUP glitter. 3 layers so it's kinda poofy. prom this year is at the Disney contemporary resort. it must be important cuz the monorail goes thru it! april 26th the saturday after a day off! oh and lets see what else about the dress...it's gonna take me awhile to get into because it has those really thin spaghetti straps that lace in the back... that' might not seem bad to you but trust me, i had a while in the fitting room trying to stick my head in the right angle. anyway... i'm also going to have to figure out what jewelry and shoes to get and how i'm gonna do my hair. yes i might actually put it up! for those of you who don't know me that long, i have always been asked why i don't put my hair up. i do more now than i used to but i usually just don't tie it up that much cuz i'm lazy and *yawn* yeah whatever. i also saw Chicago on friday. great musical! makes me wanna sing about things i shouldn't be singing about tho if u know what i mean. like "he had it coming". haha. Nikki grant's bday party was fun, thanks for inviting me! too bad it wasn't the warmest weather and not a lot came, but it wasn't completely dead. ;-)

i'm out for now, and all that jazz.

Senior Bonfire! Or shall we say "Bond-fire". That was a great name to change it to DeShawn. You know i expected the actual fire to be alot bigger like on the football field. no, it was off to the side next to the tennis court (aka unofficial parking lot) in a pile of sand. There were smores , drinks, and the (drumroll please) ~time capsule~! I stuck in a license plate that says "Spdy 03" that has a turtle behind the writing. i also wrote all this stuff on the back. that'll be something i'll look forward to 10years from now! lol. There was also a truck that provided the music. Their bass was HORRIBLE. more treble than bass ain't good. of the 640ish seniors at my school about 40 came. (and i do believe that they were not all seniors at this school). Yet perhaps they were the "seniors" who never come to school. lol. this one guy was doing some marshmallow fishing action. it would lite up in the fire then go in the sand....then get eaten. EEWWW!! well, what else can i expect? next up, 10 days of spring break!

Curse those volunteers in the What's Next rm, I SHALL MAKE A PENNANT!!

I act like i don't have any homework lol. I figure i should put something a little interesting. Oh man I have to make a paper box for calculus. the constructing part i don't mind... it's just the how-to-find-the-dimensions part that is difficult...I'm listening to Disney songs rite now haha i'm such a dork. Hey, Jacqchhh's a Geek, Diana's a nerd, and i'm a dork! woohoo! okay i guess you had to be there.
Speaking of being there, French State Competition was a lot of fun! five girls in one room ain't so cramped after all. i was glad it was at least a lil bigger than Red Roof Inn. lol. oh and if anyone asks NO we did not have five people in one room... there's some channel on the hotel tv where we could see our names that was freaky... actually we only saw 4 names cuz we were only sposed to have four. The food was horrible (besides going out to IHOP. note to self: their OJ is *good*). Wild rice with steamed (?) pea pods and cauliflower with Chicken cordon bleu (with ham in it?!). that was sposed to be the fancy dinner. i must admit the cake was very delicious tho. The dance was fun too, despite all of the spanish music the DJ played. half the people didn't know how to dance like that! i was just like oh yeah cool.... I got some great footage of the trip lol. yeah, great footage i can call it that. i could write a book on our adventures there haha. but I won't.

Chase the wire monkeys.

I have a slight idea of what I'm doing but oh gosh someone help me! I am NOT the html person. is that going to hurt me as an engineer? Finally i got a blogger rite, yaayy. I cannot figure out how to put other shtuff on here. Maybe it'll just be like a journal. anyway email if u , yes you, know what to do.