I miss my friends. Especially the ones I haven't been talking to.

I saw Kate on the way from driving home today. I was excited to actually see *somebody*. And to learn that I actually can spot my friends driving in their cars pays off. lol. I tried waving (numerous times, we had been in neighboring lanes for a few traffic lights) but she kept chatting away with her friend. Am I always going to be on the outside looking in?

MUHAHAHAHAHA.....

I like the chinese character thingys...


development


WHAT IS YOUR STATE OF LIFE?
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eww coffee's so nasty...


You're a Cappicinno!


What Kind of Coffee are You?
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mmmm peaches....


find your inner PIE @ stvlive.com

What's with the random normal results?

You are normal. Lucky little you


What Self-Mutilation Are You?
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has anyone ever noticed how the advertisements on the top of these blogspots match with the contents written? I see ads about crystals, senior year decorations, and yes... turtles. but one i found particularly disturbing last nite showed how to trap turtles in ur backyard. :( so i clicked on the link and it pictured the trap with turtles in it... so many trapped turtles... can hold up to 20...of course they are trapped the "humane way" it says. the website started as www.texastastes.com--etc--- and i thought... what are they tasting?? i think they jokingly referred to making soup out of them....stupid texans... lol tammy and tex....

*yaaaawwwwwnn* je suis TRES fatiguee. probablement parce que je me suis couche a 3 heures ce matin. i was watching the intro for Real World Paris last night. i think i'd watch it just to see the sights. the people look like other versions of previous characters. oh well. i wanna go somewhere... the p.o. has been the farthest i have gone this week. well by myself anyway. we went as a family to wal*mart. we're sposed to go to the beach all day tomorrow. that should be... thrilling. j/k dont get me wrong i like going out with my family... cuz those are the only people i go places with really. i wonder why God gave us dreams. why we always have to be doing something... thinking, feeling, imagining. are they just elaborations of subconcious thoughts or do they enact future events. hm. i got a graduation card from my parent's friend in Cali. she sent me a Macy's gift card worth $125!! that is a lot. i have been thinking about buying more clothes lately... i was worried that there wasn't a Macy's around here cuz i haven't seen one. but according to the store locater there's one in the Millenia Mall. COOL. gives me another excuse to go there. of course if there isn't one there i know where i should go... that mall is majorly poshy... posh... oh well new word. i didn't like how there were so many electronics stores and no music stores but there was one on the way.

it's already almost 4 oclock. why is time moving so fast?

well, as if i couldn't possibly do anymore to my blog, i added a pollhost. woohoo. i thought about not doing it cuz i don't think that many people actually come here but...whatever! "cuz this is MY united states of whatever..." i spent a lot of my online time yesterday trying to figure out how to post pictures. c'est tres difficil. j'ai pense que i figured it out but i didn't.
it is SO hot in this room... maybe because in here i am forced to think and concentrate causing the motion of atoms to generate heat despite the constant flow of airconditioning... maybe.
cheaptickets.com is being so mean to me! it worked just fine this morning.
earl is still flying high. i'm happy for him. he's starting to look a little raisiny though.
wouldn't it be cool to live in a world where u could just get automatically transported to various places like in star trek?? that "beam me up" motion.
the days are getting closer...i still don't have a definite answer... but i have managed to make a whole list of things i'd need to bring, places i'd want to go, and how much money i'd need... why can't i just go "well i decided to do this, be back in about a week SEE YA!!"
it looks like i'll be working for 3 days this summer. not that i have anything else to do, might be good for me.i refused to work on my birthday because i figured it could quite possibly be the day i would've considered planning doing something! lol.

i've noticed how people have expressed how tired they are. tired of trying, tired of school, tired of being the same person they've always been. that sux huh? i dunno if i'm tired yet. i think i want to keep on trying. life is so full of challenges. i dont think giving up is the way to handle things. i wanna call someone. someone i could really have a good conversation with, not so much a one-sided issue. i dont like feeling like i have to keep asking questions to get them to stay on or that i'm keeping them from other work or fun that they need to be doing. it's strange how the person who calls me the most on my cell is not a friend from cali, IL, or here, but a person who started as a friend of a friend who lives in another state. freakish at times but it doesn't seem to bother him. and yeah it's not like we have the most inspirational conversations, he's usually multitasking.
on another note, i've decided i definitely want to do something for my birthday. the last time i had a party was...4th grade...we went to Chuck E. Cheese's. that was fun! but i think i'll ixnay the party idea. after organizing 7 french club meetings i think a little break is in order. yanno since every meeting was like a par-tay woooo! lol. i'm happy how they turned out, seemed more lively than last year's. i still wish the french club going to la maison de crepe went thru and we had only been talking about it for oh 7 months but... must... remember.... it's not....my responsibility...anymore. that wasn't mine in the beginning but ANYWAY...i think i'm going blog crazy... uh yeah birthday thing umm... June 14th is actually on a saturday this year so i think that'd be a good date to do something. don't you? *stares out at no one*.

it's the little things that entertain me. i feel like one of those elderly women who need to go on their afternoon strolls in the garden to be happy.

i'm beginning to think that i like not knowing if he'd say yes. to pretend all these years that he did and stay in that little fantasy that i saw everyone, i was well received, each walked across that stage grabbing their diploma. i with my dorky video camera running around the newly constructed on school. going to disney CA adventures... *sigh*. i guess i haven't asked because i don't wanna hear no... i always give the impression that i'm so apathetic about moving, that yes florida is good, that i'm happy here, that i have a lot of friends. well i am and i guess i do, but it seems like there's something i left behind and i just want to go catch up, or really say goodbye. it just seems so open ended but i dont want it to be closed negatively. i kinda just want him to go either yes or no and that's that. but of course i'd ask why no and things'll escalate for no reason. i dunno, i didn't think it would be this difficult to just ask... i kno it sounds stupid but bubbles aren't so easily created solely for the purpose of being burst.

i'm pretty good at keeping friends but losing them is hardest.

episode 9,654,962... and a half

MISSION: avoid Tiffany

my sister went to a friend's bday get together @ west oaks mall yesterday. they went to see almighty bruce n my mom decides she wants to see it too. so we drop her off then go park at dillard's, taking the long way to the theater, and they're standing outside just hanging out. i could tell they were waiting for more people to come. we go sit at the table behind the plants and the pillar...lol. "is she still there? is she gone? i thought it started at 1:30!" they waited until 1:25 to start waddling in. coast is clear, we go get the tickets at the handy dandy machine that automatically gives the tix with a credit card (no line). we get in just fine, woohoo we made it in w/o her knowing we're there! hardest part: getting to a seat. we carefully go to the stair rail peeking to find her...in the upper levels. mom couldn't see her so she pops her whole self out "i can't see her!" "there she is!" "where? aah she saw us!" she was in the front section, her friend saw us! my mom quickly ducks down and leans on the wall like we're being shot at. so funny cuz i'm just standing there like "what? what?" she's like run! and she starts to dash away. i do the pause look both way thing and then sneak away. we're going to enter the other way but tiff caught up with us. "what's wrong?" "Oh we wanted to see the movie too :( don't worry about us, we're not here!" "oh i thought it was an emergency" haha... and these are the little things that make everyday life special.

oh by the way, the movie was pretty funny, the girl next to me thought it was hilarious "oh he so stupid, he STUPID! ahahaha he stupid!!" everytime something funny happened....

You are the crying eye. You think nothing out
there's worth it and you just want to be alone. You
know u've been hurt 2 much when u open ur eyes and
all u see are tears.


The type of pain ur eyes behold
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what?? well i certainly do not want to be alone...

Wet enough to make turtles sing

By Sue Wunder

It's been wet this week, outright thunderstorming, steadily drizzling, or darkly misting, in endless shifts. Our resolve to clean the barn of its winter buildup of manure and spread it on the pastures has been put on hold because the spongy ground cannot absorb one more bit of moisture. The cows leave cloven hoofprints full of water as they wander about devouring the thick spring grass. The dogs' wet pawprints on the wood floors of the farmhouse never quite dry in between their comings and goings.

My friend Amanda, down the road, posed an apt and arresting question today: "Are the turtles on your place singing?"

I love such language. I love poetry, and while I don't know how to make it, I know it when I read it. And yes, the turtles on our place are singing. They are everywhere, and the mute chorus of their joy is deafening to those who will listen. These days I come upon turtles in the brush along a rushing stream, in the mulch of the forest behind the pasture, and out in the grass, too, necks stretched at the noisy intrusion I make on their splendid solitude - on their singing in the spring.

I have had a soft spot for turtles ever since I watched my father sprint across a lane of the New York State Thruway to rescue one from the center of the tarmac and relocate it to the green edge of its apparent desire. Our family was bound for the Adirondack Mountains for a summer vacation, but the sight of that outstretched neck in the middle of the highway was an emotional brake for us all. We pulled over. Dad plucked the turtle from probable doom and deposited it on the grassy verge; it's an image right up there with Christmas morning in my childhood memory bank.

I have done the same thing so many times, I'm beginning to wonder if turtles regard roads as sure-thing shortcuts and bank on that friendly hand to save them a few languid steps in their journeys. But no, sing as they may this time of year, I don't honestly think that turtles think. Which isn't to say they aren't worth saving.

We'll get back to the barn when the weather dries. I've missed the cleaning up this week. I like to lift a pitchfork's worth of manure layered with the cows' daily winter bedding of straw, hay chaff, and leaves, and heft it into the spreader. I don't mind how many times I do it on a fine day in May. This is spring cleaning with a vengeance, and it does me and the pasture good.

But it's still far too wet to continue. So for now, I'm content to slog about in rubber boots looking for mushrooms and checking on the cows close to calving. Often I come across turtles in their proper habitat, far, far from harm's way and splendidly silent - until I pause to listen with more than my ears.

aww...

4pm
well i really don't have a topic to talk about but maybe it'll make me feel better to just...rant. blab... carry on.crap. poop. okay whatever. i'm sure it'll be better than the few minutes i just spent crying over nothing really...

"hey that guy is taking a picture, smile! is that your dad?"
"no"
"do you kno that guy?"
"um no..."
"umm okay..."
mystery old dude takes pic of gabby and i.

i was signing someone's yrbook yesterday and saw that mrs harris signed it.
"mrs harris signed your yearbook??"
"yeah well i was passing it around in class and she kept looking at it. i felt bad for her"
"uh...okay..."
"aren't i a good person?!"
she signed it like a frickin friend! most teachers would tell how great of a student u are but she addresses it like "dear 'rachel'" (thats not her french name or real name, musta been an inside "joke") and off to the side she writes FRENCH RULES!! my gosh...

my parents wanted me to organize a get together with my friends this summer. i just thought eh what do i need that for... now i guess i'm just sad that i dont see anyone. i just think it would be kind of weird cuz they all come from different "circles". well if i stop to think about it i guess they all kinda know each other... but what could i do to satisfy everybody. a few of my friends from IL were sposed to come this june. we were going to go swim with the manatees...they had been planning it for two years but it turns out their parents won't let them! *sigh* and this whole california thing... i really really really wanna go see my friends there because it's been 3 years. i wanted to come in time for their graduation but i'm scared that my dad will beat me down about going. last time i asked sopho summer he just gave me this lecture that made me feel bad for having friends in cali or having friends at all. that sucked. he said i could do whatever i want when i'm 18 but his words are hardly taken literally. i havent asked him yet and they need to know by tomorrow. aahhh too emotional rite now. dam rain! i think we're going to float away

I'm Just a Kid

I woke up it was seven
I Waited till eleven
Just to figure out that no one would call.
I think I got a lot of friends
But I don't hear from them.
What's another night all alone?
When you're spending every day on your own
And here it goes ..

Chorus
I'm just a kid and life is a nighmare
I'm just a kid and i know that it's not fair
Nobody cares cause im alone and the world
is havin' more fun then me tongiht

And maybe when the night is dead
I'll crawl into my bed
I'm staring at these four walls again
I'll try to think about the last time
I had a good time,
Eveyone's got somewhere to go
And their gonna leave me here on my own
And here it goes

I'm just a kid and life is a nighmare
I'm just a kid and i know that it's not fair
Nobody cares cause im alone and the world
Is havin' more fun then me

What the hell is wrong with me?
Don't fit in with anybody
How did this happen to me?

Wide awake I'm bored and I can't fall asleep
And eveynight is the worst night ever

I'm just a kid (just a kid) x5

Im just a kid and life is a nightmare
Im just a kid and i know that its not fair

Nobody cares cause im alone and the world is ..
nobody wants to be alone and the world

I'm just a kid and life is a nightmare
I'm just a kid, i know that it's not fair
Nobody cares cause im alone and the world is
Nobody wants to be alone in the world
Nobody cares cause I'm alone and the world is
Having more fun than me, tonight

I'm all alone ...
tonight
nobody cares...
tonight
Cuz I'm just a kid, tonight

--Simple Plan

u don't know what it feels like. they're such fickle things. what happens when u're torn between them. what happens when u're separated from them. what happens when that line is lost. what happens when you wish you could have a better relationship but there's nothing you could do. to be expected to start over every time. is change that easy, why does it have to be. the ability to get along, why. why isn't everyone on their own. why dependence. where are they when u need them, when u don't need them. do you need them? outside of school, thats when u realize who are the ones worth the wait, worth the while. worth the time. worth your effort to keep.

why do i stay away.

oh no that's kind of depressing....


You have a goodbye kiss- much passion and longing,
but never lasting.


What kind of kiss are you?
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the sun slowly setting. the breeze swaying the colors. an army unite together in uniforms one last time as horns blare around them. training was smooth but did not produce perfection. fingers pruning and bodies shivering. it was known as... Graduation.

but let me back up to the beginning of the day. 8 o clock in the morning everybody had to be in the auditorium for practice. somehow the seats got rearranged so that now i was sitting in row D instead of E ( there wasn't a row A for some reason). beechum (the senior sponsor aka the english teacher almost everybody had or at least knew) calls out names that need to see mrs williams immediately. and she calls out my name! i didn't kno what i did wrong, people were saying it was the obligations list but i never had any obligations all year. so i check and it turns out i supposedly didn't turn in both english books that i was supposed to. but i did! at that point i was thinkin, aah evil beechum! what's she trying to do to me?? but i just went up to her, told her i turned them in, she wrote a note, and i gave that to williams, and my name was cleared. weird. i just wasted 15minutes of nonsense. practice was okay, short but VERY HOT. we spent most of the time in the auditorium (yay). okay so fast forwarding now... we had to meet in the auditorium by 6, i gladly gave Holly my remaining tickets (yes, for free), i woulda felt like i wasted them if she didn't call and ask. oh yeah at around 4:30 it started POURING down "cats" and/or "dogs". and we figure hey this is florida, the rain usually comes and goes quickly. so by the time we get to school it had stopped.i went and met my friends, took pictures, etc. i started to get a lil bored of sitting in my seat by myself so i started thinking about how this step is going to make us grow up a little... then i saw the ends of my cords looked like heads and started playing with them. they were rocking out cuz they had long hair. :) then i imagined they were voodoo dolls. muhahaha... that was interesting. not really blunt or fascinating but interesting. lol. we march out @ around 7 down the middle of the football field JROTC officers on each side, it was really nice. now we had practiced going into our seats, who was going to be on each end, but SOMEHOW *someone* messes it up! the row behind us had two people that didn't have a seat. eventually i guess two people in my row realized they messed up, or someone just didn't scoot all the way to the end and, magically, there were now 2 seats. everything was going well as the wind kept blowing clouds over us... until the Apopka Singers performed. poor them! first jeris' mic didn't work or he was just too tall to be heard on the shorter mic so we couldn't hear his solo. oh guess what they played dhs people! "525,600 minutes..." thats rite Seasons of Love. wasn’t it the northview chorus that *always* sang it?? lol i still liked it tho, it 's a gosh darn good song. the apopka singers are the juniors and seniors (?) who especially sing well. all but 5 or 6 were seniors. so anyway, near the end of the song, the music cuts off! but they kept going. i swear the audience was convinced they were at a football game. they were obviously still performing but they drown them out by cheering and rattling noisemakers... and those stupid horns... iono what they’re called but my gosh! it’s something u’d use to start a race or celebrate a goal/touchdown... NOT TO CHEER AT A CEREMONY. so after the singers had finished, we really applauded them. amber, valedictorian, goes up to the podium but she doesnt say her speech. we find out the sound actually went out, the music didn’t just cut off. kids in the back rows kept trying to start chanting “03!” and everyone else would go SHUT UP!! lol as soon as it got to the honors rows it quickly died out. but gratefully the sound resumed. i like how she quoted people but...antoine st-exupery... did she have to quote the lil prince dude?!? oh well it had a good message. and i liked her story about the carrot, egg, and coffee. she didn’t say what the egg meant tho... do people just eat the eggs? i wanna be coffee! all of the speeches were meaningful and i started to feel all mushy inside. then finally the principal and board and all that confirm we were eligible to graduate and people were getting their diplomas! as soon as i start walking towards the stage we can hear rain coming and it starts POURING... again! haha it felt so unreal i couldn’t believe we were in the rain soaking wet, waiting in line for our diplomas. i think on my website i said i wanted to absorb every second of my graduation... what was i thinking?! nevertheless i just kept marching, shook everyone’s hand with a positive attitude, and i can’t imagine how i musta looked in the picture the photographer took with my hand shaking dr. edwards and taking the diploma. oh i know, WET! i think the other pic is messed up cuz the wind was hard and the tassle was going in my face. i, just as everybody else, went back to our seats. and sat there. wet. parents were going crazy, getting on the field, some grads actually left! everyone else stayed because of the “well i’m already wet anyway” reasoning. by the time my mom came to get me a plastic bag, i wasn’t exactly sure how she wanted me to use it, it had finally slowed down and eventually stopped. i put the diploma in da bag thinking i’d rather get me wet than it. the cap and gown packages said not to get them wet...but they stayed together quite nicely! loved how my cap expanded. we sang the alma mater, switched our tassles, some thru their caps, vp tucker came up to lead the last “word of inspiration” aka prayer and that’s the end! craziness. oh i ceased to feel sad and mushy once it started raining, all i could do was laugh. my mom said she has my expression when it started raining on camera.

after, i went friend-hunting, finding molly, gabriela, nicole (aww she said she cheered us on that lil future senior), stacy, and diana. or...stacy and diana found me...one of those! :-P i’m glad i took pix at bacc cuz it was impossible to find everyone. family and i went to eat at orlando ale house, i wore my cords and medal to show off. haha... well people noticed! i dunno when else i’ll get to wear them...

BE COFFEE.

*gasp* the used at hard rock live! i wanna go see! me ya go see! maybe i can get my parents to just have my sister and i go... course then we'd need a ride... *sigh* i don't like asking permission to things so often. lol.

well tomorrow's the BIG DAY. it's been a while since i've posted any "real entries" but i'm not really in the mood... but it's so ennuyeuse ici. no where to go no where to be nothing i have to do... nothing i have to be? well maybe not that. i say maybe a lot. it's funny how there's nothing to be enraged about with french gone. it's funny how french isn't even a part of everyday conversation... how i miss it! ha yeah right. but i do feel something missing... but i dont wanna talk about french now lol. je ne sais rien. baccalaureate was nice. i might not have to take as many pictures tomorrow...peut etre <=== is that hyphenated? gosh i'm already starting to forget stuff. if u haven't had the chance already, read the convo down there. i can't even relate to where my logic was at the time... o thats rite i didnt have any. why dont i stay up late anymore? thats a lost past time. pastime? aaaahhhhhh....so bored... the more i say the more bored i feel....BOOOOOORRREEDD. i got a letter saying congrats and...register to vote! ya i'll be looking forward to that on my 18th... ya u rebels get ur piercings, tattoos, bank changes... imma go register to vote goshdarnit! flag day, we dont even have a place to hang our flag outside. we should! oh then i guess we'd need a flag too... there is no end to my stream of consciousness... this was meant to be an entry about graduating....

I USED TO HAVE THE WEIRDEST CONVERSATIONS... MUSTA BEEN THE TIME OF DAY

elle (1:15:19 AM): so what did you do today?
TurtleBrownie (1:15:23 AM): worked
TurtleBrownie (1:15:35 AM): oh the joyness of that word
TurtleBrownie (1:15:42 AM): did u work too?
elle (1:16:09 AM): yep
elle(1:16:21 AM): from 8:30 till 2:00
elle (1:16:23 AM): then I came home and played neopets..
TurtleBrownie (1:16:23 AM): what times do u work...
TurtleBrownie (1:16:24 AM): oh
elle (1:16:27 AM): and I still am haha
elle (1:16:32 AM): I work tomorrow at 3..
TurtleBrownie (1:16:34 AM): lol
elle (1:16:41 AM): I'm on a 8 day strech right now..
elle (1:16:42 AM): argh..
TurtleBrownie (1:16:43 AM): i worked from 2-8
TurtleBrownie (1:16:50 AM): wow 8eight days
TurtleBrownie (1:16:59 AM): almost more than aweek!
elle (1:20:51 AM): almost?
elle (1:20:54 AM): tee hee
elle (1:20:59 AM): and then next weekend!!
elle(1:21:03 AM): I'm going to Rocky mountain house!!
elle (1:21:05 AM): I'm excited!
TurtleBrownie (1:21:08 AM): lol. OOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
TurtleBrownie (1:21:10 AM): whats that
TurtleBrownie (1:21:25 AM): as opposed to the bullwinkle mountain house?
elle (1:24:38 AM): haha
elle (1:24:45 AM): it's a town that my friend lives in!
TurtleBrownie (1:24:51 AM): oh cool
elle (1:24:57 AM): she's turning 18 and we are going to hopp the bars!
TurtleBrownie (1:25:01 AM): that u haven't seen in over a year?
TurtleBrownie (1:25:06 AM): cool cool
TurtleBrownie (1:25:20 AM): i'd go visit the bars
TurtleBrownie (1:26:41 AM): but.....thats just me
elle (1:28:21 AM): nah hopping is soo much more fun
elle (1:28:23 AM): haha
TurtleBrownie (1:28:42 AM): maybe
elle(1:28:46 AM): you should come!
elle(1:28:51 AM): fly on down here!
TurtleBrownie (1:28:55 AM): really!
TurtleBrownie (1:29:01 AM): since when is canada below me
TurtleBrownie (1:29:10 AM): *Ponders*
elle (1:30:10 AM): haha
elle (1:30:14 AM): Canada??
elle(1:30:19 AM): who said in Canada hehe
TurtleBrownie (1:30:24 AM): aha
TurtleBrownie (1:30:30 AM): canda aka "canada"
TurtleBrownie (1:30:35 AM): canada*
TurtleBrownie (1:31:03 AM): u go south of the border for dis kinda shtuff?
elle (1:31:10 AM): yea..
elle(1:31:14 AM): mexico has the best beer
TurtleBrownie (1:31:52 AM): really
TurtleBrownie (1:31:56 AM): u been there?
elle (1:32:39 AM): no
elle (1:32:45 AM): but I have had imported stuff
TurtleBrownie (1:33:06 AM): oh i see
elle(1:34:57 AM): corona..
elle (1:34:58 AM): only problem..
elle (1:35:06 AM): it contains the evil tequila...
TurtleBrownie (1:35:09 AM): hmm?
TurtleBrownie (1:35:10 AM): oooo
TurtleBrownie (1:35:14 AM): evil hiss hiss
elle (1:35:28 AM): haha
TurtleBrownie (1:35:53 AM): whats so evil about it
elle (1:40:17 AM): it makes me sick as a dog...
elle(1:40:21 AM): no sicker than a dog..
TurtleBrownie (1:40:28 AM): oh...
elle (1:50:33 AM): I lost on bingo..
TurtleBrownie (1:50:41 AM): oh no
elle (1:50:43 AM): they guy kicked me out..
elle (1:50:43 AM): he sucks...
TurtleBrownie (1:50:47 AM): why?
elle (1:51:09 AM): cause I called a fake bingo haha
TurtleBrownie (1:51:44 AM): lol
elle (1:51:55 AM): it's not my fault..
elle (1:51:56 AM): haha
TurtleBrownie (1:52:04 AM): "BINGO!!!!! oh wait.......i got bango, my bad...."
TurtleBrownie (1:52:22 AM): sure it isn't.......
elle (1:52:54 AM): haha
elle(1:53:01 AM): bango!!
elle (1:53:03 AM): hahahahaha
TurtleBrownie (1:53:06 AM): lol
TurtleBrownie (1:53:10 AM): :-D
elle (1:54:30 AM): oh well
TurtleBrownie (1:54:43 AM): waht can u win?
elle (1:55:05 AM): food... neopoints
TurtleBrownie (1:55:26 AM): mmmmmmmmm neopoints.......
elle(1:56:14 AM): yea
elle(1:57:39 AM): I think..
elle(1:57:44 AM): I wouldn't eat it though..
elle(1:57:47 AM): might get sick..
TurtleBrownie (1:58:08 AM): oh.....
TurtleBrownie (1:58:13 AM): sicker than a dog?
elle (2:00:50 AM): yes...
elle (2:00:55 AM): sicker than a dog...
elle (2:00:55 AM): haha
TurtleBrownie (2:01:09 AM): oooo dont want that
elle (2:04:40 AM): totally
elle(2:04:45 AM): you know how dirty money is..
elle(2:04:47 AM): yucky...
TurtleBrownie (2:04:53 AM): yes
TurtleBrownie (2:05:02 AM): yucky like pickles
TurtleBrownie (2:05:10 AM): green and yucky
elle (2:06:01 AM): yum.. pickles...
elle (2:06:03 AM): thye are good...
elle(2:06:12 AM): like olives... but my money isn't green
TurtleBrownie (2:06:22 AM): yes it is
elle(2:06:23 AM): it's blue and red and purple and brown
TurtleBrownie (2:06:32 AM): which ultimately spells green
elle (2:09:48 AM): good point..
elle(2:09:49 AM): haha
elle (2:09:58 AM): I sometimes for get how to speel...
elle(2:09:59 AM): hehe
TurtleBrownie (2:10:22 AM): lol
elle (2:17:30 AM): god... it's so hot in this room...
elle (2:17:35 AM): uhg...
TurtleBrownie (2:17:53 AM): u talkin to me or God
elle (2:18:44 AM): aren't you the same person?
TurtleBrownie (2:18:59 AM): lol good point
elle (2:20:23 AM): thanks
TurtleBrownie (2:21:25 AM): yw
elle (2:29:24 AM): well are you fixing it or what?
TurtleBrownie (2:29:36 AM): fixing what
TurtleBrownie (2:29:38 AM): oh
TurtleBrownie (2:29:43 AM): no i dont have a plunger
elle(2:30:13 AM): the hotness....
elle (2:30:13 AM): *passes out*
TurtleBrownie (2:30:56 AM): well lemme see....here *tosses ice cube*
elle (2:32:11 AM): thanks haha
TurtleBrownie (2:32:40 AM): ya good now?
elle (2:35:27 AM): a bit better...
TurtleBrownie (2:35:33 AM): i'm glad
TurtleBrownie (2:35:38 AM): the rest u gotta work for
elle(2:36:31 AM): how do I work for cold ness?
TurtleBrownie (2:37:04 AM): well........if u want to be cold....u should wear all ur winter clothes so i can see ur serious
elle(2:37:36 AM): um... ok.. just a second..
TurtleBrownie (2:37:57 AM): k
TurtleBrownie (2:37:59 AM): hussle now
elle(2:38:05 AM): baaack!
elle (2:38:07 AM): now what?
TurtleBrownie (2:38:36 AM): now stick ur head in the freezer
TurtleBrownie (2:38:40 AM): u earned it
elle (2:38:44 AM): I can't
elle (2:38:46 AM): haha
elle (2:38:49 AM): thanks/
elle (2:38:56 AM): but I'm going to bed...
elle (2:38:58 AM): nite nite!
TurtleBrownie (2:39:01 AM): ok
TurtleBrownie (2:39:04 AM): cool off!
TurtleBrownie (2:39:07 AM): have a good one
TurtleBrownie (2:39:09 AM): byeeee
elle (2:39:22 AM): ditto!
elle (2:39:23 AM): nite!
ellesigned off at 2:39:44 AM.

* “elle” is a replaced name so dont go stalking someone with the sn elle thinkin I know her!

Forwarding emails are just so passe now. it's all about posting them! :P . i particularly enjoy the bacon bits quote.

> > To My Friends
> >
> > If you should die
> > before me, ask if you
> > could bring a friend.
> >
> > -- Stone Temple Pilots
> >
> >
> > If you live to be a hundred,
> > I want to live to be
> > a hundred minus one day,
> > so I never have to live
> > without you.
> >
> > ~Winnie the Pooh Bear~
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > True friendship is
> > like sound health;
> > the value of it is
> > seldom known
> > until it is lost.
> >
> > -- Charles Caleb Colton
> >
> > A real friend
> > is one who walks in
> > when the rest
> > of the world walks out.
> >
> > Don't
> > walk in front of me,
> > I may not follow.
> > Don't walk behind me,
> > I may not lead.
> > Walk beside me and
> > be my friend.
> > -- Albert Camus
> >
> >
> > Strangers are
> > just friends waiting to
> > happen.
> > Friends are the Bacon
> > Bits in the Salad
> > Bowl of Life.
> >
> >
> > Friendship is one mind
> > in two bodies.
> > -- Mencius
> >
> >
> >
> > Friends are God's way of taking care of us.
> >
> >
> > I'll lean on you and
> > you lean on me and
> > we'll be okay
> >
> > -- Dave Matthews
> >
> >
> >
> > If all my friends were
> > to jump off a bridge,
> > I wouldn't jump with them,
> > I'd be at the bottom to
> > catch them.
> >
> > Everyone hears
> > what you say.
> > Friends listen to
> > what you say.
> > Best friends
> > listen to what you don't
> > say.
> >
> >
> > We all take different
> > paths in life,
> > but no matter where we go,
> > we take a little of each
> > other everywhere.;
> >
> > -- Tim McGraw
> >
> >
> >
> > My father always used
> > to say that when you die,
> > if you've got five real friends,
> > then you've had a great life.;
> >
> > -- Lee Iacocca
> >
> >
> >
> > Hold a true friend with both your hands.;
> >
> > -- Nigerian Proverb
> >
> >
> >
> > A friend is someone who knows
> > the song in your heart
> > and can sing it back to you
> > when you have forgotten
> > the words.;
> >
> > -- Unknown
> >
> >
> > Pass this on to all of your FRIENDS,even if it means
> > sending it to the person that sent it to you.
> > And if you receive this e-mail many times from
> > many different people, it only means that you have
> > many FRIENDS. And if you only get it but once, do not
> > be discouraged for you will know that you have
> > AT LEAST ONE GOOD FRIEND.

See what Care Bear you are.

What? Me? Indecisive?!?!?!


You're unsure whether you really want to smile or
not.You just curl your lips up at the corners a
bit and let that get you through your day.You
don't have all the answers,and you certainly
don't feel like going out to look for them.Stop
being so indecisive.


What Kind of Smile are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Hey i'm kinda likin this whole "unique" thing...


AMC Javelin


What classic "Muscle Car" are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

"Let anger grow-- you have plenty of time."

"Facts are stupid things."

"I grew up in California. Phoenix is the best."

"Anger is the worst counselor."

"He faked a bluff."

lol went to Borders with Shirin and i just read these quotes.

so let's see today... went to senior breakfast, took way too much food but hey, i can't back down on something free! especially when those are juniors who served me *muhahaha*. ate half a bagel, about half of the danish, grapes and...brought the frosted flakes and snacky things home. i think i know who spray painted those "O3s" all over the place and i'm pretty sure they weren't all seniors (if any). i dont really have any proof but since they spray painted in red and conveniently there is now a phrase spray painted in red on the sidewalk in my neighborhood....connection? they are so stupid. no actually they are REALLY stupid! but anyway what else.... i wonder if i will be able to see the lunar eclipse tonite. anybody ever been bitten by a squirrel? i did today, u kno i just wanted to kno how desperate it was for those planters peanuts... just kidding. but i really was bitten, shirin has a pet squirrel in a bird-looking cage and she had convinced me that it like me! so, being the animal lover i am, i tried to pet it and first it nips me. "aww how cute" curious to see how serious it was about injuring me i try again and that time it drives its teeth into my finger! ouch. so now i have these two buck teeth marks in me. afterwards it kept scratching itself and i'm thinking "oh no what if it had rabies!!!". but neither it or me has started foaming at the mouth so it's all good.

Lifestyles of the rich and famous...

are nothing like mine lol. yaayy concert! woohoo!! ugh i am still so tired. and i'm sore! it doesn't even make sense that my arms are sore, if anything my neck should be *moves neck* oh wait it is. i had a jolly good time last nite. it RAAWWKED! what compels people (or just me) to sing at the top of their lungs during a song i dont exactly know... it's kinda funny now that i think about it. but it was fun! it was from 6:30 to 11:15ish. first band was Stretch Armstrong from SC (they were kinda old). the dude pretty much yelled every word and it didn't seem like anyone knew the song cuz they were just sitting and starin. singer would be like "where are all my people at on this side??" audience:"woo." but he acted like he was big with a lot of confidence so that gets some props. then at 7:15 ish MXPX comes out. good show, i liked their big MXPX banner behind them and that whole switch-guitars-by-hurling-them-in-the-air-across-the-stage thing was cool. i can't say i enjoyed every song cuz i only barely knew Punk Rock Show. then hmm after that there was a pretty big gap in time, they were playing cds in the meantime. (the used stacy! the used!) i didn't recognize any other bands they were playing but they pretty much played the whole used cd in the time before gc came on and then before nfg.
i really like Good Charlotte's show, i could just feel all the power coming off the stage. first they played Lifestyles, the spotlights acted as helicopter lights in the right spots. there were so many lighting effects when they were on. they also played wandering (? i luv that song lol), hold on, moving on, bloody valentine, young and hopeless, and...dont remember names of the rest. on stage they had those 5 symbols up there, do they mean anything special? the only time joel messed up was on the very last song, anthem, he started the next verse early but no one complained.
New Found Glory... it's like they were on speed or something lol. they were just all over the place, during one song chad runs around the edge of the floor, accidently slaps a security guard from trying to shake hands with people in the seats, hugs security guard, and moves on. during the whole show i was hoping no one would be cussing just so my parents wouldn't comment about it (during the songs it didnt matter cuz they couldn't understand them) and my sister said nfg never does in their songs... one of the first things chad says is "you guys always go f---ing insane for us!" aah! after awhile it was f this f that and my 'rents didn't have any comments about it so alrite that's the sh-- rite there! j/k. they said that too. nfg had fans in the background on stage. this one dude in blue was jumping so much he eventually almost actually went on the mainstage. he had to keep trying to stop himself lol. near the end they were "covering" lose urself by eminem and....omgosh what is it called...that club one by 50cent (performed by 65 cent aka Jordan). that was soo funny. "oh dude i dont know that one either". then they were like "we're all A.D.D.!" crowd "wooo!!" "how many of you are ADD!" "Yeaahh!" that was interesting. by the time they go to My Friends Over You (last song) jordan was just lost, he forgot his words but replaced them with "oh sh-t!" hahaha.
i was surprised by how diverse the crowd was, in front of us was another set of parents with 2 12yr olds (i call all the young looking people 12 year olds) behind us was that loudmouth girl (one of those girls u can hear every word she speaks) and her friends, punks, preps, all kinds of people. oh one of the funniest parts was watching those crowd "surfers"... more like crowd sinkers lol. u'd see people going nicely along, one dude was being hurled up like 5 inches, and then all of the sudden all u'd see is their ankles. lol. but yeah i wrote a lot and whoever reads *all* of this deserves the end of it so... zzzzzzzzzz

OH NO! i have a problem.... i completely forgot about the baccalaureate ceremony and there were already two things planned on sunday! so let's see the church party (is that an oxymoron?) is from 12 to...3 i think, tiffany's softball party is from 2-whatever and the bacc i have to be there starting at 2. hmm...well gee okay we go to the church thing, leave early, drop me off at bacc thing, take sister to softball party, and parents come back to watch me! yeah then after that's over go to softball thing...that could work...aahh! it's a good thing someone was talking about it today 1st period. well, looks like no zellwood corn festival for me this year :(. it was good too... the corn that is.

i went to drop off a book 3rd per and i got my final exam project back. A! woohoo!! i had so much extra credit in that class already but hey, an A's an A. oh and i got a letter from the 2nd grader i made a book for! it is soooo cute! this is exactly what it says:

Dear Cystal,
Thank you for the book my classmate liked the book we read the author page and we saw picture! I tell you the part that I like the one that I said hello to teri, and we ran went each together I like your new book that you gave me, thank you. I'm going to save my book forever.

Love,
kristen Gilot Loies

aaww! she was so sweet. that's exactly how she talked, going off on different tangents and such. my book basically was about her and teri (the turtle) becoming friends in a playground. the picture was one kate took of her and i in the playground at Dream Lake Elem.

la la la.... what does one do when one does not go to school? it's 7:44am. class has almost started. i don't need to be there since i already took my 4th final and if i were to come i would get a lot of "why are YOU here?!"s. i don't expect 5th period expects anyone to come and 6th definitely don't expect us since that going away evenement. franglais is one of the best forms of communication...for the ones who kno both languages. joke:

what do you call someone who speaks 3 languages? trilingual
what do u call someone who speaks one language? American.

Haw. gotta love that humor. i'm sure many have heard that one before but it still pokes me in the funny bone. wow now it's 7:49am. why didn't i just let my dad take my sister to school? i could be sleeping. i wonder if the a/c is on... i wonder what everyone else is doing now...what does one wear to a rock concert when one does not own any so-called cool rock stuff? perhaps i will blend in with one of my turtle shirts? should i wear my pink one? j/k, i dont own anything pink. i am going to feel awkward there. not just cuz i might not ~blend~ (my sister will) but because my parents are going! *sigh* my dad has no clue what kind of music we're going to see/hear/whatever. my mom said she wanted to come cuz "everyone goes thru that phase". what?! anyway it's the people in the audience who might be rude and mean and i dont want that to happen tonite. parce que ce n'est pas tres sympa!

yaayyy i am pretty normal!! those of u who hasn't taken this, please do, especially to read the last question (its quite disturbing)


Balanced. You accept your emotions as normal and
are not overly happy nor depressed. You are
emotionally balanced and should find peace in
the way you deal with life situations. Your
emotions are normal and well understood. You
see the light in the dark.


How Emotional Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

wow i must be so bored... i find this one interesting tho

You are RED! Entertaining and unique! People love
you because you dare to be different, and
aren't afraid to be unique!


What Colour are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

it was my last day of ap history... and i cried! part of it was prompted by seeing the son (Nathan?) get shot in the Patriot but the other part was prolly cuz i was sad! those lil juniors gave me a "to a special high school graduate" card. aaaawwww... i wasn't even that close to many of them. i hugged the 3 i talked to the most and of course mrs montague. most of the time i felt like that one senior who just sat quietly at her desk...but iono i guess maybe thats what made it depressing too! :-p. by the time it was time to go ( i left before class was over) i was squeaking my goodbyes. made me feel a little better when matt goes "oh we were just kidding about that turtle stuff" and he was like the ringleader of that operation. i think the last turtle torture convo included...hmm... stewing turtles? it was friday after the ap test. good stuff. i kno they were kidding, at least that proved they knew i existed. but dude, if i started to cry just from leaving 2nd period, how am i going to handle graduation day??? i guess i *could* be sad about leaving now but i think it's important to be happy and maybe even keep a "stiff upper lip" at least until next tuesday. no one likes a sad turtle. i'd have a lot more fun that way...well... no guarantees on monday.

Okay after 3 years i think it's finally good enough:

My New Website!

i dont have a comment thingy or guestbook on there so just give me feedback if ya have any. Why did it take me so long to "finish" it? (i still have some stuff to add) part laziness, for awhile i just didn't like it. Why do i even have a website? well... for fun! i have bunches of pictures that i like to show people, that's prolly the part that will be updated the most. that and this blogspot also facilitates my excuse to go online (besides to talk to people)

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!!!!!!
honoring those brave women in the midst of everyday whining and nonsense

I went to buy our gift at Things Remembered which of course is the engraving place to be:
"yeah excuse me, i'll take this"
"is this for a mother's day gift?"
"yep"
"alrite, would you like to get it engraved?*politely*"
"no thank you *politely & smile*"
"what?! how can you go to an engraving shop and not get it engraved?!"
"like this!"

i feel like blogging again today *hysterically crazy laughter*.... but i dont' know what to say! i guess i'll just ramble and go *patooey* that's may9th entry part 2 and no one can change that! i think i need the weekend to feel the impact of what is actually going on... i'm graduating! wow!! i kno that sounds REAL retarded but life has just been such a wiiild ride. it doesn't even make sense rite now. i wanna feel sad that i'm leaving but at the same time i'm happy that i'm moving on... i dont know. i can't explain but i kno a lot of people must feel the same way. i guess french ended in a way that was satisfying. i was actually glad that it didn't end on a sour note. it's like... mrs harris really cares?! i dunno i look back and it's hard to see why i despised her at times... because she never changed and she'll always have that naive sense that she don't kno whats goin on. i actually hugged her before i left...she was giving me words of encouragement as if i was sad about leaving or if i even had the slightest hint of sadness in my face (which i didn't), i guess she did... maybe she was comforting herself. hmm go figure. anyway, *high* school is ending so quickly, this week sped it up so much. i wanted more people to sign my yearbook... i wanted to bring a camera to my classes before they ended... i wanted molly to sign my yearbook! lol. anyway next week is really going to be it and i will hardly see anyone next week except maybe at the senior breakfast and grad practice... oh no i feel sad now...

french is... over? it's hard to comprehend.
it was sweet of 6th period to have that petit going away "party". yes it did in a way seem like she was making up for some bad things that happened this year. even the exam was short! not that it was easy, but it was short. those superlatives were...interesting. it was kind of unoriginal to have gabriela and i "most responsible" tho. me? responsible?? lol. yeah i guess when i look at those hours i spent after school, organizing stuff, keeping those freshman fc members in line! haha. i didnt' realize today was the last day in french class... i dunno it just hasn't sunk in. oh and it was so sad seeing Nicole cry so much! my gosh i felt like crying too but it just wasn't coming out...i guess the joy overwhelmed it. she is such a sweetie. and u kno what? i actually don't have *any* homework at all! that is too weird.
i took my ap hist exam today... i had trouble understanding that it was the REAL thing. some of those questions came out of NOWHERE. like...the grandfather clause?! unnecessary details we didn't learn. i dont think i did very well on the essays either... except maybe the last one. i just couldn't concentrate long enough.

oh, i didn't say why the parking dude was mean. okay so i come in to do the french exam but the student parking lot gates on the outside are closed of course. well last time i came in with nicole no one was out there so we just parked in the staff lot. but of course when i come today HE's there. So i park and i get all my stuff and i start walking towards school avoiding his little golf cart self but alas, he sees me. he goes "hey! hey you! where you park?" i go "over there somewhere..." *waves hands to confuse him*. "you park in student parking lot?" "what?" "*repeats himself*" "no" "why you park in staff parking lot? you not a student?" i loved his incomplete sentences."yes, you see i was taking my history exam and now i'm coming to just take my french exam..." "why you not park in the student parking lot?!" "i didnt know i could..." "go park in the student parking lot!!" "okay okay....*walks away*" MEANIE! so that's why i couldn't get to school in time to hang out during lunch and let my brain rest.

everything's coming to an end...it's just too surreal to be...real.

okay is this saddam guy dead or not?! his face has certainly not disappeared off of this planet (media-wise anyway). maybe he wired the $1 billion from hell haha.

speaking of hell, only one more day! btw, i am just so entirely indeedly-doodly ecstatic to just now find out that in order to make it easier for (as stacy put it) the "devil woman"....omgosh! i can use one of the pics with her on it and draw horns and a pitchfork! yeah!!! that would make me happy.... anyway where was i...oh i'll bring that pic so others may see my artistic portrayal...that reminds me, i need to develop those grad bash pix!! i was gonna do it at costco but..so far away... okay whoa sorry where was i? oh rite okay devil woman is giving us a condensed version of the ap exam! thats cow doody! i SO do not like her... she said it would be based on stuff we had learned in the book before but NOOO it's on stuff she ~expected~ us to understand... in no way is this gonna help my grade now. in NO WAY!! argh! *growls* it doesn't even make sense to give us an exam like that cuz we already took the frickin real exam!!!! i musta had a cynical twinkle in my eye during 6th cuz everytime she was speaking i was imagining different ways of destroying her ( you dont want to know exactly what ) . it's amazing how she manages not to see my scowl... do turtles scowl? i dont even know if they smile.... but i'm sure they are happy inside.

Hold the Button!!!

this is great... i was going to do some french studying.... but this was so tempting! my time was 11min11.16sec

WOOOOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*does happy spongebob dance*
*now does happy turtle dance*

AP English is now.... officially.... over.

AAAAPPEEEKKAAAAYYYY!!!

aaahh! blogger.com is being steewwwpiiid! it feels weird to “blog” on microsoft works. but i feel like it haha. grad bash was fun! i wasn’t bouncing around all over the place like some of us but i had a good time. i dont see how i can ever not have a good time at a theme park? Something Corporate was great, loved their spunk. yeah that’s rite i said SPUNK. i wish i could dance on the piano like him... they’re more of my sister’s band but i knew a couple songs. oh i loved the Spongebob that was being thrown around during “F--- Jordan”. Bowling for Soup was funny, i didn’t get too watch them too much but at the lockers next to the Hulk i heard them covering songs like Jenny From the Block lol. that was great. in case anyone didn’t hear grad bash is at Universal Islands of Adventure. yeah the first rides we get on are Dudley Do Right’s log ride and Popeye’s rafting thing. WE GET SOAKED! SOAKED!! and you know what? we do popeye’s twice in a row! haha we’re all like ya let’s go again! the second time was worse... more spins.... the raft flooded... oh there’s this part where we get go thru this “car wash” type majigger so we’re spinning around, everyone going “no no keep spinning!” so that they wouldn’t be in the middle and guess who ends up rite in the middle of it all? hmm....haha it’s okay i think i had a dry spot somewhere on me.... everyone was giving me their last words as jacq pointed out my “hurt look” apparently i have one. well yeah if u’re going to poke me what do u expect of me stacy?! my jeans were wet all nite. at least it helped me/us cool off cuz it was a long hot day. lets see other rides we went on were Flying Unicorn (woohoo! that was sumthing else haha), Dueling Dragons (that seemed to be SO much faster than i have been on b4), the Incredible Hulk (i’d about say it was worth the 40minute wait), Cat in the Hat (gotta love that spinning and black light action), and Spiderman ( heck ya that was supa fly lol). diana and i did not go on Dudley’s again. i could understand why everyone else wanted to go on after the foam “party” lol. i was quite amused. i hope those pictures turned out ok *evil laughter*. that was stupid how they wouldn’t let us out of the gate until around 1:55am when it's over at 2. it was hard to get thru the crowd. Human Chain!!! we only had one casualty, does anyone know what happened to steven yet? lol. why do i always manage to be confronted by stupid people? but thats a different story.


MARCO??!!!!
everyone: POLO!!!!!!
Diana’s/my responses: BASEBALL!!! Kickball!!! softball!!!
Steven’s: was a great explorer!
my response: Who played POLO!!

most hilarious part of friday:
jacq and i are heading to french class, walking side by side... and she starts humming/singing (?) the death march! not the one that a tumpet plays, the 1 that goes (to put it in computer language which is probably difficult to understand):
" dun dun dudun dun dudun dudun dudun..." haha anyone know what i mean?!
it was SOOO funny i could not stop laughing. according to her i was having "convulsions" lol. it was like the best way to describe our attitude towards french. hahaha

BULIMIC

from the way that you acted
to the way that I felt it
It wasn't worth my time
and now it's sad cause all I missed
wasn't that good to begin with
and now I've started you begging
saying things that you don't mean
it isn't worth my time
a line's a dime a million times
and I'm about to see all of them

Goodbye to you
you're taking up my time

you call my name when I wake up
to see things go your way
i'm coughing up my time
each drag's a drop of blood a grain
a minute of my life
it's all I've got just to stay down
why the fuck am I still down
I'm hoarding all thats mine
each time I let just one slip by
I'm wasting what is mine

--The Used

reminded me of what french class and the teacher has meant to me lol. i bolded what especially got me! :P